COLOR MY WORLD BLACK.

Yep. that's how i feel once more...the suicidal syndrome i thought i have lost ever since that day...but whoever thought it would come hunting me again. No, not me. I didn't see it coming bit now that it's here. HOLYFCK. i think i'll just surrender to it all and die.

I'm so pissed at life right nao.
I can't actually say that im utterly disappointed at 'some' people
because i hate it when people diss at me too so why bother >__>
w/c is why im going for LIFE.

stupid, stupid, stupid.
just when i thought i did good...
just when i thought everything's gonna be alright...
somehow, simple turn of events would lead me downhill.
and i fckng hate this feeling!
i don't know if i should keep on trying or just give up
and be miserable cause there's no guarantee that anyone
would care!

i needed something. i always do my best.
but whaaaat..............................
am i expecting too much? am i reading these things too much?
or am i just plain stupid to think this is different?

i get frustrated at the littlest of things, i admit.
i overreact. i get too emotional.
which is why when things go wrong, im the most affected.
and until now, no one has understood that side of me.

why do they keep asking me why?
when all the answers are visible in the naked eye.
IT'S THERE! IN FRONT OF YOU!
i'm not happy at all.
there are times when im blinded but these times...
i could truly see what i feel.

im weak.........................
i don;t know how i could survive with how im going with things in my life. i always observe this and i could never erase the feeling that perhaps, no one really does love me. why is it so? am i not that true to you guys? am i not as friendly? am i not as worthy to be called as a friend? why me?!






I NEED A BLANK CD FOR GOD'S SAKE.
and i dont know wth i could ask for help.
no one's replying to me even though they're online.
even those of whom i call my friends...




See? who could blame me for running away from all these things once in a while? Surely you would get tired of facing them every single day of your life when you know they aren't really the ones meant to be there for you.

It's decided. im gonna be absent tomorrow.
Yep. Just because im in the mood of hating the world aotm.
:( i just wanna lock myself up until something nice happens.
i'll prolly come out of shell...just maybe.

:(

FML.